COMMENT: President Biya has Nothing to Fear but Youth Impatience

By Boh Herbert (Picture from medvibez.com)

Any political leader who, like President Paul Biya, makes only two speeches a year, and only does so because he has no way of escaping the assignment, is bound to be a bit - well, rusty. On the eve of the 54th anniversary of the historic vote on 11 February 1961 for independence by Southern Cameroonians - Mr. Biya rattled a few incoherent things meant to serve as a speech for youth. He did not fail to disappoint. Apparently unable to name names, the president called on young Cameroonians to avoid being misled by what he called "birds of ill omen, dreamers and enthusiasts of virtual calls for destabilization". 

Translation, anyone? 

How could anyone miss it? It seems clear that President Biya heard that threatening video message from Boko Haram - the one in which its leader said "we are coming for you, Biya". Apparently, as a result of those threats, Mr. Biya no longer dares to call Boko Haram by name. Is this all about self-preservation?

Instead of decrying Boko Haram by name, the president refers to them as "irresponsible prophets". Anyone understands who he is talking about?

You'd be forgiven if you thought the president is warning against the "holy deception" that is served at the altar of the likes of T. B. Joshua. So desperate is the president to avoid calling a spade by name that he describes the horror visited by the Islamist sect on towns like Fotokol and other parts of the country as "adventures".

Adventures? Is that what Boko Haram offers? Adventures? Really? 

The rest of the speech is littered with outrageous claims such as this one: "There are statistics to prove" job creation, the president says. You have to believe because, as we know, statistics cannot be pulled from a hat! I guess that is why Mr. Biya pledges to provide - but only next year - a total of all jobs created by his regime since 2011. What can I say? The statistics to prove those 2011 through 2016 jobs have to be hatched and cooked. It takes time - not less than an entire year - to cough up such numbers. It is hard work.

One truth the president confesses is the fact, he says, that Cameroon's recovery is neither "glorious"; nor "sustainable". He adds that it is also not capable of transforming Cameroon into an Eldorado. 

The president says he has looked failure in the face and cannot deny it. However, his confusion persists. In the very next paragraph, the president states: "our youth will continue to reap its benefits". Of what, may I ask? The benefits of failure? When Independence Day can be erased from history books in favor of an invented Youth Day, who is surprised when success is a benefit and failure is also a benefit?

Youth must looooove a president who admits that too many of his youth "are unemployed" and have had to "resort to precarious options" in order just to "survive". At least, the president is not hiding from the truth. That is if you disregard the fact that the president manages to blame the misery his regime has delivered as a benefit on causes as unclear as "the global context". In power for the 33rd year, the president blames what he calls nearly twenty years of unfair terms of trade, successive economic and financial crises as well as - and this is only "another possible cause" - what he calls "the delay in gearing our educational system toward professionalization". You got it! Blame the system, not Mr. President! 

Sounds familiar?

When you think the regime has nailed it, the rusty parts resurface. In the very next paragraph, instead of sticking the blame to the system, Mr. Biya says "we believed..." - let's take that all over - the president says "we believed that it sufficed to make education accessible to the greatest number and continually raise its level, to mechanically resolve the unemployment problem". Unlike then, we now know better, right Mr. President? 

As proof that "we" know better, the president explains that "the new economy is computer-dominated". That has to be right. The question, though, is how many of Mr. Biya's cabinet members and senior officials know how to use a computer? How many in the Senate which the president essentially hand-picked have ever worked on a computer? How many of the "closer to the grave than life" Senators would cheerfully trade their "waka stick" or the wheel chair they need to move around or the diapers they need to appear to be "dry downstairs" for a computer? 

Even granting that political resurrection is possible even for such political deadwood, what is one to make of the president's prescription that manual labor be reintroduced? How does anyone use a matchete on a computer keyboard? Manual labor sounds like a policy prescription that would be adopted by centurion Senators rather than anyone who believes in the innovation of the Facebook and Twitter Era youth.

Towards the end of the speech, the president could not ask a more pertinent question. He states: "You might then ask me: given the urgency and the fact that youth are naturally impatient, what do we do and how?"

I know the president posed this question because he knew the answer and is counting on scoring ten out of ten on his answer. Spoiler alert: this can be corrected on the computer now - no need for manual labor! Mr. President! I've got an answer you should consider. 

Here it is: in the light of the publicly recognized failure of your regime and the impatience you rightly say youth have... my advice would be for the tenant at Unity Palace needs to pack up, resign and leave power before youth run out of patience. There is no need to go down the road to Burkina Faso!

ENDS
PS: As usual, this advice is provided free of charge, and entirely out of love for fatherland.